Once again the trust issue has arisen with Caroline. She wants us to trust her when she goes up to the local high school to play wall ball. I am beyond nervous about who she is befriending, what she is doing, the topics of conversation. How much control should we have over her where and when are always a hot topic of heated discussion. She wants more freedoms, we feel she can't handle them, at least on too long of a leash. She won't ever have the privileges and freedoms of a non-bipolar teen, which is hard to swallow. But our job is to protect her now so she can achieve her dreams later. But letting go of her will be so hard as she gets older. I check her text messages to be sure she is not texting inappropriately. We would just get rid of texting altogether but this is THE primary form of communication for teenagers, even us with them! Of course if we feel she is acting dangerously, we would just confiscate the phone, but then our fear is she might leave and we wouldn't be able to get a hold of her.
The summer looms large and the whole summer question rolls around again, "How do we keep Caroline busy and out of trouble?" We can't afford most camps this summer with the unemployment thing going on. My husband has obtained a three month set of active duty orders starting the end of April, but it is just temporary. He is still pursuing a long term more permanent solution. We will likely have to purchase our own health insurance for the short term, oh joy.
I am depressed today. The skies have been grey and rainy for two days. I lost it at our youngest this morning when she fussed at me about touching her "stuff." Her "stuff" ended up in the trash as a result. I had had enough. I wasn't very self-controlled I must say. Bad day. Tomorrow I hope to start fresh!
About our Daughter
I am mother to four wonderful daughters, ages 17, 19, 21, and 23, and wife to the greatest husband on earth. God has given us a special child to raise one who was diagnosed with early-onset bipolar disorder at the age of seven, though she showed signs of it from the age of fifteen months. She also has ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder (sensory seeking), Dyslexia, and Non-Verbal Learning Disorder-NOS, all typical comorbidities for a bipolar child. In spite of the trials, she enjoys lacrosse, running (finished her first marathon in October of 2014!), and reading and writing her own books. I will share with you the many joys and sorrows we have faced and will face in the future with the hope that you may find better understanding about this mental illness caused by both chemical and structural abnormalities in the brain. I desire that you will be encouraged by this blog if you are also dealing with a bipolar child. Thank you for reading and sharing in our journey.
How Did You Know She Was Bipolar So Young?
I wrote a long explanation of how we came to this bipolar diagnosis in a child so young under my post of March 19th of 2009. If your child or a child you know bears similarities, please seek out a good psychiatrist and don't wait for "things to get better." Often they will simply get worse, and the longer a child is unmedicated, the more damage their brain can accrue. Early diagnoses and treatment are key to providing these children with a chance at a successful life later as a teen and an adult.