Why You Need Good Boundaries

If you are a mom or dad to a bipolar child, one of the most important lessons for you (as I learned the hard way) is to set good boundaries with other needy people. Because you will likely grow tremendously as a lay "psychologist" due to all the efforts you put in to understand your child and this disorder, you may become a magnet for other people who recognize both your knowledge and compassion. Well, don't let yourself be taken away from your own "mess" so to speak in order to care for other people who are just as "messy" who truly can be cared for by others who don't have the amount of stress in your lives that they do. Your stress level is probably like those of the parents of autistic children who are on par with war vets (not joking, look it up!) This doesn't mean that you don't extend friendship or show kindness, but watch out for the creeping codependency that can start to sap all of your energy (what little you have) away from your primary job, which is caring for your own husband, child, and the rest of the kids. Caring for yourself is highly important (I am bad at this) and will take the form of whatever you decide: a pedicure, coffee with a friend, a great book, a weekend away at a hotel where you can just veg and do nothing. I am only offering this after almost landing in a psych ward myself by allowing someone else outside of our family way too much access to myself when my own child was in so much pain. I still shudder to think of where I was at back then. I did eventually learn to set boundaries and stick to them, and my "friend" was not any worse for it. She grew too.