No job yet, but my husband has been working hard to find one. I am more anxious than I was a few weeks ago about the job situation. Today when Caroline set off towards the apartments and the boys that play basketball down there, I was a ball of anxiety. I drove down there, picked her up, took away her cell phone, and then had my husband come back from an errand so I could go for a drive until I didn't feel so anxious anymore. I couldn't deal with her at all. I woke up last night with this anxiety and spent time praying about everything I was worried about. I feel so torn right now about what direction we should be going in. I just want Bill to come home one day and tell me what his new job is and where we are to live.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Not a Great Day
I don't know if this has been directly the result of the 48 hour Amantadine holiday, but today was the worst day we have had with Caroline in a while. Bill wants to ask the doc to up her Seroquel, but it is hard for me to agree because I want room to go up on that med when the fall mania sets in. I think we just need to wait and see if the reintroduction of the Amantadine will bring her back to "normal." We know that when she gets really mouthy and rebellious acting that she is not right.
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9 comments:
Megan - I'm so sorry you had such a stressful, upsetting day. And I'm so sorry for your anxiety and worry. We were in your shoes about 6 months ago after my husband lost his job with a phenominal company. We were fearful we'd lose our house as I had lost my job about 6 months previous to him losing his. But he did find a job. Not one he's crazy about, nor with a salary like the last but we're happy we can pay our bills now. Anyway - I know you and I have different religious beliefs but what got me through those tough times was knowing that there was a plan out there for us and I had to keep the faith. I know you'll agree with that.
I wonder if you're on any meds? I can't recall if you've mentioned it before or not but wonder if it's something you could ask to 'up' a bit during such a stressful time for you and the family? And can a be a total nag and say that exercise helps a ton! (I should listen to my own advice here, believe me!! :)
Dealing with all you are right now coupled with a child(ren) with emotional issues is enough to put someone over the edge! I know it did me - I would have to leave the house as well and just veg out in the bookstore alone or go to target and just leisurely shop alone. I can relate - there are days when you can handle your ill child. Sometimes there are weeks that go by and I'm so proud of myself b/c I was able to balance it all but I have remember we are only human. We all have our breaking point! Remember this and allow yourself to break now and then. It's ok.
I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and empathize completely. And to remember, "This too shall pass . . . "
(((hugs)))
Erin
Matthew 6:25-34 helps me when I'm dealing with daily worries and anxiety. I'm sorry for your tough day. I do understand.
Megan -- I am so sorry that things are hard there with Caroline. I can relate, although I am at a total loss as to what I am going to do with my son when he is a teeanger (scares me), I am hopeful that things do 'normalize' for you soon. And that your hubby comes home with a great job!
Hartley
www.hartleysboys.com
I have just come across your blog today and am so encouraged by it. I also have a child with the same diagnosis as your daughter. He is 8 years old, just started 3rd grade and has many of the same issues as your child. I am so thankful to have come across your blog-- it is an answer to prayer! My husband I feel so alone at times and if it weren't for God's guidance and our small network of friends who care, we'd have lost our minds by now.
The most difficult trials have been when we go through rejection from the friends who claim they understand but then shut us out. It hurts when I educate them about the illness my son has but to then hear through the grapevine that they feel our parenting skills are the problem. It's such a relief to find so many families through your blog who truly understand and truly care. Our son is currently taking Lamictal and will soon be trying Intuniv. My husband and I are worried about starting a new med. but we realize Sebastian needs something more. Thankfully we have a special needs school that is doing well with him so far.
We have found that anytime we are going through financial stress, he picks up on this underlying energy despite us trying to keep a positive disposition. Any kind of stress (big or small) effects him to the highest degree.
Thank you so much for being willing to express everything you are going through. What you have to say is of great value and I will continue to read them for insight and encouragement.
Blessings, Dixie
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and prayers!
Dixie--I am glad you found me and it always brings me joy to know that someone else is helped by the story of our journey with early onset bipolar disorder. I look forward to getting to know you and your son as you walk this difficult road!
Hang in there! Totally know how you feel. I will say a prayer for you today. Love always, Amy
I just discovered your blog tonight while trying to research the effects of Intuniv on a child with Bipolar. My husband and I have custody of a 12 year old boy (diagnosed with Bipolar, ADHD, and Type1 diabetes), and he's lived with us for almost 4 years. Finding and ADHD med that may work without causing more harm than good seems impossible. I spent today trying to convince the psychiatrist to order blood work to check his Lithium levels becuase his behavior has been so "off". It seems that he thinks it's all our parenting or ADHD related. If that's the case, things wouldn't have gotten worse in the last two weeks! I can't wait to have more time to read your blog. It's refreshing to read about people who get what we go through daily.
Hi Millersara, ( I am thinking your name is probably Sara), I am glad you found this blog too. Don't give up finding the right med mix for your son. You sometimes have to find the right psychiatrist before you find the right mix! Intuniv could be a could med to try for him. Any person whose child has a bp diagnosis needs to be careful about stimulants and antidepressants since they can make bp symptoms worse. Hang in there! Looking forward to getting to know your story as well.
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