You Might Need "Starfish"

There is a great online website/resource for educational advocacy for kids with all kinds of neurological challenges called STARFISH. I have posted a link to their site on the right hand side of my blog. Check them out! Very impressive source of information and actual help as you navigate the public school system.

Schooling Undecided, Church Issues

Well, just when you think you know what you are doing, things change. We are now quite unsure that we want to send Caroline back to the school she has been at all year. The kid is just so lonely. If the two new girls don't come back, like we are hearing they aren't, then it will be her and the boys again. Adolescence is hard enough, but going through it with not a single friend is awful. We are now wondering if academics alone is a reason to keep a kid at a school where she has no friends. Probably not. She is retreating to her room every day after school, spending hours just writing her novel (90 typed pages now), living in the world she has created for these characters. Not healthy. Creative yes, but not engaging in reality.

We have similar problems at church, with there being a very small group of girls to choose from. Increasingly I wonder if we should find a new church where she can start fresh. She feels rejected by the other handful of middle school girls because of her past mistakes while manic. We tried another church before, but the church we switched to didn't meet everyone else's needs (too far away, too big, didn't like the sermons or music.) But to see her suffering, refusing to go to church, Sunday School, anything because of her feelings of alienation is really hard. Adolescents form a lot of opinions about spiritual things early and she is at a critical point in her life regarding her relationship with God. We are in a difficult place. Please pray for direction, clarity, wisdom. We love our church, our pastor, our friends, but when does your child's needs take precedence over your own? Are we being selfish if there is another church where she would thrive? I hate these kind of decisions because you feel like there is no perfect choice that will satisfy everyone.

"We're Too Normal"

I was watching "Wife Swap" tonight on the TV with my two youngest daughters. The show should really be called "Mom Swap" because that is what it is essentially. They take two radically different families, switch the moms for two weeks, and lo and behold you have a reality show. Of course one mom is always much too permissive, usually on the low end of income and education level, and the other one is often well-educated, materially blessed, Type A, and uptight about everything, and extremely protective. Mae asked if we could sign up to be on the show. I gave her a "no-way" look. Then Jane said we couldn't anyway because our family was too normal. TOO NORMAL?? Did I hear that right?! I was tickled. I really thought that she would say we were too messed up. Yes, we are a normal family, with issues like every family. Our oldest comments frequently that we have a very dysfunctional home, but then I ask her to look at the home lives of most of her friends. We are doing okay in comparison. Yes, at times we haven't felt the least bit normal, but I must say that this year has been a new "normal." I am grateful for the reprieve from the holes in the walls, the running away from home, the constant crises we were in for so many years. I realize that things could change, but for now, I am just thankful.

Summer Camp Advice

One thing that we have learned after years of different summer camps for Caroline is that bipolar kids usually cannot handle camps that involve large numbers of kids in one place, out in the heat all day. Look for camps that have small number per counselor, in a small environment, with plenty of indoor time. Lithium makes kids need a LOT more water (it is a salt, remember) and bipolar kids have a hard time regulating their temperature anyway for some reason (see The Bipolar Child by Dr. Papolos.) Tell them that your child is bipolar, obviously, and give them some tips on how to handle outbursts and meltdowns. Sports camps are ok if they LOVE the sport they are playing, but again, WATER and more water. We have had bad experiences with chaotic camps.

Ugly Morning

Do you ever have those mornings when you get out of bed, come downstairs, and then all hell seems to break loose? Then you find yourself yelling at the kids because you are so groggy you can't figure out what is going on and you need at least three cups of coffee before you are ready to deal with this kind of stuff anyway. My oldest and Caroline got into a huge fight over whose Odwalla was in the fridge. Puh-lease!!!! There was a big C on the top of the bottle, which I had put there because it was Caroline's. Elizabeth's was in there too with her initial on the top but she didn't see it before she left for school. Both were accusing the other of taking their drinks, food, etc. My oldest thinks Caroline eats everything in the house before she gets to partake, which is partly true, so I gave E. her own stash of her favorite foods. Not good enough, I guess. She was incensed over an Odwalla. I hate the way I handled the situation (screaming), and I hate the way they can't ever seem to give each other grace. Ugh! I am sick of the morning school routine with five people in the kitchen all trying to get out the door about the same time. We need two kitchens, or two school start times that are farther apart than half an hour.

Drug and Alcohol Rehab Program for Teens and Young Adults

There is a wonderful nationwide, faith-based addiction rehab program I have discovered called Teen Challenge. They serve young adults as well. If you know someone who is trapped in addiction please check out their website which I have posted under Great Resources to the right on my blog. As you may know, many teens and young people with depression and bipolar disorder end up self-medicating if they are not properly diagnosed and treated early.

Something to Celebrate

Caroline tried out for the select summer girls lacrosse league team, and she made it! Most of the girls on this U15 team are already in high school. The head of the league came up to my husband and asked where in the world Caroline came from, because she was really good and he had never seen her before. We explained the broken ankle and the missed season, but I have a feeling that a lot of people will be asking where she came from, given her incredible talent on the field. God has given her quite a gift and we are thankful that she has something she can call her own. Maybe it will lead to a college scholarship one day! The next five years are going to be so important in determining the direction of her life in her twenties. We just hope she can graduate from high school! She is very smart, but bipolar disorder in kids and teens has a way of dampening their academic performance due to a lot of missed school, slow processing speed due to the drugs, short term memory issues, etc. One step at a time. Final exams this week and the next, then summer is upon us!