A Milestone

Last night, while wrestling with my nine-year old over homework, Caroline came downstairs and asked if she could talk to me. I went into the living room, where she held out her cell phone and told me she wanted me to take it from her because she realized she couldn't handle the temptations that came with it. Crying, she explained that she couldn't resist talking to a boy from school and that the conversations were going in the wrong direction. She would rather not have a cell phone than fall into the trap she fell into last fall. What a moment! I hugged her and told her how proud of her I was and how mature she was. I certainly wouldn't have had that kind of self-control at her age. She said she felt like the youth group retreat really helped her to remember what life was all about and her commitment to purity. This was a shining moment in an otherwise dark day for me. The homework battle with Mae has begun, adding a lot of stress to my afternoon and evening, but at least I am not battling her ALL day.

Whew!

Caroline and Jane went on a church middle school retreat this weekend and thankfully Caroline handled herself just fine. We sent her with a little fear and trepidation knowing that in the past she hasn't done very well with that kind of over-stimulation and lack of sleep. Of course, we sent her with a lot of instructions for her leaders and with all of her medications labeled morning, noon, and night, assembled in little ziploc bags. The leaders said she had a great time and there were no incidents. We were very relieved to hear that and happy that she could feel like a normal teen for once, and do things that other kids do without mishap.

My husband is gone for four days which means it's just me holding down the fort. Oh boy. I slept badly last night, getting woken up by Caroline who couldn't fall asleep again after waking up at 2:00. I woke up with a migraine for Mae's first day at school. I wasn't a very nice Mommy this morning. I dropped everyone but Jane at their respective schools, then went back to bed for three hours while Jane worked on her schoolwork. I am so glad she is a self-starter! After school, we sorted through the fall clothes, which reeked of moth balls, making my migraine much worse. Stupid of me. Oh well.

We Are Making the Move

Mae is starting back at the private school she was at last year on Monday. You don't know how much relief this has brought me. We have a lot of work to do with her, but having her home all day was exhausting me to the point of panic attacks at the start of each morning. Jane will be my homeschool buddy. That will be fun, I know. She like to be at home with me and is so easy to school.

Caroline is having a hard time at school with her Spanish class. The teacher seems to have anger issues, and poor teaching methods. I normally side with teachers because I think a lot of parents take their kids' side when they need to support the teacher. But Caroline has told me this teacher curses at them, tells them to shut up, and has some pretty unrealistic ideas of how fast a kid can memorize foreign words in five minutes, and then be quizzed. Caroline has very low processing speed and a poor working memory, so this is impossible for her. She has failed the same quiz twice and was crying over the fact that she would likely fail tomorrow. I decided this was not acceptable, and called the principal to share my concerns, nicely of course. He was quite surprised and apologetic and said he would look into this right away. I really like this guy a lot. If Caroline starts to dread going to school because of this Spanish teacher, that would be awful. I will request that she do Rosetta stone on her own if they don't remove this teacher (if she doesn't change her ways).

Might Change Plans

We are seriously considering putting our youngest, Mae, back in school. My eleven year old is a dream to homeschool, eager to please, wants to get everything done on time, does more than she needs to, and I enjoy teaching her. Mae, on the other hand, is giving us a major run for our money. We are trying the ADHD med Focalin, but I am not seeing a big difference in the meltdowns. She is more focused, but still much too emotional over everything. She is very rigid in her thinking, and demanding, crying a lot. Working with her feels like torture, so we are trying to find a way to put her back in private school. I am much too stressed out everyday to the point that I think I am getting an ulcer, and I feel frozen with anxiety. With all we have gone through with Caroline, I just can't put myself through the ringer again. Mae was fine in school last year behaviorally, but she would bring home a lot of undone schoolwork if she wasn't on the ADHD med. I guess I need to give myself a break. Maddie cleans the kitchen for me all day long, so she is a balm to my sould. I hate the thought of giving up only three weeks into the school year, but I was willing to try it, and she was excited about it, but the honeymoon has work off and the writing is on the wall. I can only take on so many commitments and the accompanying stressors.

Raging All Day, and it's Not Caroline!

Glad we have a psychology appointment today for our youngest, who has severe ADHD. Besides being incredibly distractable, she is now raging over everything and nothing, all day long. I don't like this, because this is what Caroline did a lot at this age. I am so stressed out I feel like I am having a panic attack right now. We have been secretly filming her so the psychologist and psychiatrist can see how bad she is. I am suspicious of the purely ADHD diagnosis. I hope she isn't bipolar. I don't see the ADHD meds working to reduce her rages at all. I told Bill I may not be able to homeschool her if this continues, because it is unfair to Jane and to me.

Ooops! Don't take with Orange Juice!

Just read the most ADHD meds should not be taken within an hour of drinking citrus juices or anything with vitamin C, because the acid reduces the absorption of the medicine! Note to self...

Now For You Guys!

With Caroline in school all day (hooray!) I have plenty of time until she and Elizabeth get home in the afternoon to focus on Jane and Mae. Their behavior with us and with each other and their older two sisters has deteriorated to the point that I have determined to bring them in line as quickly as I can. Homeschooling doesn't work if the kids aren't going to listen to you. Actually Jane listens fairly well and is eager to get her work done each day. She is a hard-working students and loves to write so she is not the big problem.

Mae, on the other hand, is severely ADHD, and we have struggled with her behaviors for a long time. She is overly perfectionistic, constantly daydreams, doesn't want to do what she is told, and would rather create her own project of the moment. She is incredibly smart, so she often makes up for her lack of diligence with her high IQ. However, this won't carry her forever. Yesterday, I took her to see our old counselor at Eden who has known Mae since she was three. I was looking for help on how to tame this wild beast. I was starting to worry that she is bipolar too. She doesn't meet the checklist, so I knew she probably wasn't, but possibly some other mood disorder? The counselor said no, we just really have to get her ADHD med in her consistently, which we were and then weren't. Then, we can work on the behaviors which would likely be considerably lessened.

So today I gave her the full dose of her Focalin, dissolved in orange juice, and told her enough messing around, take it or else. She did, after I had to make it very clear that this wasn't optional. The result: when it kicked in she was remarkably calmer, and got all of her subjects done in the proper time without my cajoling. During the previous homeschooling days she was still on subject number two at three in the afternoon.

Okay, the counselor is right, and most of her problem is an under-stimulated brain. And yes, I just need to enforce the rule of taking her medicine every morning. Yesterday she exploded or melted down eight times before noon. Today, she had about four major outbursts before the medicine kicked in then only a few hiccups after that. Why am I so stubborn?

She will be seeing this counselor once a week to work on some of the behaviors that have developed out of having a chaotic home life living with a bipolar sister, as will Jane for her OCD problem. Jane has declared that the kitchen is her kitchen and starts freaking out if I start cooking and leave something on the counter, like measuring spoons. I mean a full blown temper tantrum. First it was her room, now my kitchen. Poor kid. I know this is a reaction to feeling like life was out of control when Caroline has been unstable (a lot), and she is grasping for a sense of control over what she can control. Unfortunately, this isn't helpful to her and drives us all crazy.

Caroline has been feeling less depressed yesterday and today, which is a relief. I think it is going off of the Flexeril for her back (can cause depression), and maybe the increase in Lamictal. Who knows. I find it funny that presently she is the most stable-acting kid in our home. Her sister's are more difficult to deal with right now than she is! I hope that continues, although I would like to see her sisters dealing with their issues so we can all just RELAX!

Maybe then I will sleep better and stop waking up with migraines.