Heartache

You know that feeling when you are just so sad for your child because they can't function in  the "normal" world?  Or when the stresses of taking care of them combined with all the other stresses of life just get to you and feel so heavy?  Today is one of those days.

The special glasses we got her made the scrolling vision worse, not better.  She had to leave school early again.  I don't think she has spent one full day at school since school started back up after break.  She needs an education.  She needs consistency.  She needs to go through a day without a migraine.  I need days without the dreaded phone call.  Just sad today.  And frustrated.  And worried.  And discouraged.

Tag, You're It!

I don't know why I hadn't thought of this previously.  In light of the fact that I am literally at Caroline's high school on a near daily basis either picking her up because of migraines, or dropping her off late because of migraines or whatever (lately it is a stubborn virus giving her bronchitis and sinusitis), I have had almost no unbroken time to myself to get my own stuff done at home: laundry, filing, paperwork, or even working out.  Since I have a full partner in my husband, I am going to ask him to give me one day a week "off," where he is the one to deal with her and the school.  He will get the phone calls or texts, and I get a full day to myself.  After all, I too have a full-time job running this household.  I may not get paid (wish I did!) but I need time to get it all done.   Single parents who work full-time have no option but to leave work if their child is sick and needs them.

And on this note, I am seriously going to look at the option of having her do the public online high school next year.  She is home so much and her education has been quite interrupted.  She could still play on the lacrosse team, and she would have the accountability of having teachers to whom she would have to turn in work on a daily and weekly basis.  I spend an awful lot of time driving to and from the school as it is.  Maybe going to school isn't the best option for her or for me.  It hasn't been the source of friends for her that she thought it would be.  Her source of friends has been outside of the school.  We need to pray about this, obviously.

Of course this would mean I would be home all day with her.  So I wouldn't really have time to myself.  But I don't now either.  Maybe I won't until she goes to college.  And even then we know we will be "on call."  This is what it is to have a special needs kid.  No real breaks.  But God has used her to humble me.  I needed humbling.  And compassion for people who don't have it all together, like me.

Sick

So the season of colds, flu, strep begins.  Can I just say yuck? Missing school.  More make up work.  Sigh. Just when I think we are getting back on the bandwagon!

Survived the Holidays, and Then Some

This new friendship between Caroline and this girl has really blossomed over the break.  I just continue to pray that nothing happens to spoil this new relationship.  She has been burned a lot.

The kids go back to school on Monday.  I am thankful and sad at the same time.  The break has been good, from Christmas Day on.  I think everyone kind of relaxed after Christmas.  My husband and I enjoyed a night away on New Year's to celebrate our 20th anniversary, which was back in June but which we didn't have time to celebrate because of the move.  Thankfully Caroline is stable so we could go.

So I pray that your New Year will bring peace for your family, and hope, and some small victories.

Fondly, Megan