CNN Story on Pediatric Bipolar Disorder

Check out CNN online and you will see a very good article about a girl's struggle with early onset bipolar disorder.

One Down, One to Go

Our youngest daughter started school today, half-days all week. I breathed a sigh of relief. She tends to be the squeaky wheel. Now one more week until my oldest starts public school, and then I can focus on homeschooling Caroline and Jane together. Caroline will have all day classes on Tuesdays at a homeschool co-op and Jane will have them on Thursdays, so they will get a break from each other too. Caroline is VERY happy about being homeschooled and wrote me a thank you note. I posted it up on the bulletin board so I can refer to it later when she is hating it. Hopefully she won't, but you never know. I am using the Alpha Omega online homeschooling program called Monarch (it grades most of the work for you and prints out report cards too) combined with Sonlight readers and math. I think they will be quite busy between homework for their coop classes and all of the work I will be assigning to them. I pray for a good year!

It's a New Day

I am reminded this morning of God's faithfulness, His love for me, and His closeness to those who mourn. It is well with my soul. Matthew 5:4.

The Loneliness Can Be Profound

I feel like I don't have any true friends except through this blog. I have three wonderful sisters and a caring mom, but I have this deep sense of loneliness that is very noticeable when I am alone, like this weekend. I have a great church with many "friends," but no one ever calls me, asks me to go out for coffee, or for glass of wine, or just to see how I am doing. I am always the one calling other people, or the people who call me are people who need something from me, whether counsel or encouragement. In other words, I am giving, but not receiving, as far as friendships go. I don't know if this is a direct result of having a bipolar daughter, which wouldn't surprise me. Just like the invitations to get together with other families dried up after she was diagnosed, I feel like many of my friends stopped calling. I know I have stopped calling certain people because they don't call me back, and I am tired of feeling like the third wheel. I feel that I have a lot to offer others in terms of friendship, and I am used to having very close relationships with other women. There really isn't one person in my local area outside of my immediate family that I feel like I could comfortably call if I am down. It is painful the way that mental illness isolates. I need a fresh start too. Moving to another place seems very attractive right now.

A Weekend to Myself!

At last the annual crabfeast has arrived, and my wonderful hubby takes the four kids to the big event, and I stay behind and get the house to myself! I always struggle with feelings of guilt for not attending this extended family fest (his side) but at the same time, this is my ONLY weekend during the whole year when I get to organize, work on small projects, and regroup before the school year starts. I miss them by day 2, but I need the break very badly. This past week was a hard one for all of us, with the reality of no job setting in, the younger two kids completely sick of each other, everyone tired of the pool, and nothing to do. I was pulling my hair out! Hopefully I won't spend the weekend napping because I haven't been sleeping well at all.

August is Two Weeks Too Long

That's all. My kids all should have gone back to school two weeks ago. I am envious of my friends whose kids' private schools started much earlier. Just too much time and too little to do! Next year I think we need to take a vacation the last part of August, if we can afford it.

What is it about sunshine?

When it is sunny, we are happy. When it is cloudy, watch out! I am talking about myself here, as well as Caroline. I am finding that cloudy days make me feel so depressed that I am not functional on those days. Really. I get panic attacks, and feel so low I want to crawl into bed and stay there all day. Not good when you don't live in California or Arizona. I am increasing my Vit D3 to 10,000 mg on those days. A prescription dose can be as much as 20,000mg. I remember that last year at this time I began really struggling with SAD, as the day light decreased into the fall. On my ICal I put a reminder to increase my antidepressant in late August. I was right! It is amazing how the change in seasons and in the weather affect some people, including myself!