Trust

Once again the trust issue has arisen with Caroline.  She wants us to trust her when she goes up to the local high school to play wall ball.  I am beyond nervous about who she is befriending, what she is doing, the topics of conversation.  How much control should we have over her where and when are always a hot topic of heated discussion.  She wants more freedoms, we feel she can't handle them, at least on too long of a leash.  She won't ever have the privileges and freedoms of a non-bipolar teen, which is hard to swallow.  But our job is to protect her now so she can achieve her dreams later.   But letting go of her will be so hard as she gets older.  I check her text messages to be sure she is not texting inappropriately.  We would just get rid of texting altogether but this is THE primary form of communication for teenagers, even us with them!  Of course if we feel she is acting dangerously, we would just confiscate the phone, but then our fear is she might leave and we wouldn't be able to get a hold of her.

The summer looms large and the whole summer question rolls around again, "How do we keep Caroline busy and out of trouble?"  We can't afford most camps this summer with the unemployment thing going on.    My husband has obtained a three month set of active duty orders starting the end of April, but it is just temporary.  He is still pursuing a long term more permanent solution.  We will likely have to purchase our own health insurance for the short term, oh joy.

I am depressed today.  The skies have been grey and rainy for two days.  I lost it at our youngest this morning when she fussed at me about touching her "stuff." Her "stuff" ended up in the trash as a result.  I had had enough.  I wasn't very self-controlled I must say.  Bad day.  Tomorrow I hope to start fresh!