On Friday I went to visit my therapist and tell her the news about Bill's brain tumor and the messed up military retirement issue. I arrived full of fear and anger. During the course of our conversation, we talked about God's presence in our lives, and she said something about God talking to us. I replied, with a bitter laugh, that He certainly wasn't talking to me!
When I left the therapist's office and got into my car, I saw the pile of mail on the seat that I had grabbed before I left the house. I saw what looked like a card from a dear friend and decided to open it. Inside of the card was a check for a very large sum of money, enough to get us by for more than half the month. I was so stunned, and so humbled. I could hear God chuckling as He prodded, "So I am not talking to you, huh?" I cried, and as I was crying, sobbing really, and driving, the words of one of my favorite songs popped into my head and spoke directly to me, "This is what it means to be held, and to know the promise was worth everything felt, we'd be held." I felt God was holding me in that moment in a great embrace. Then that exact song came on the radio at that moment! Ok, God, I get it, I take it back, you are indeed talking loudly to me, saying that you love my family and will take care of us.
Then a dear friend called me long distance a few minutes later in tears over our situation. How comforting when a friend walks beside you and cries with you through the valleys!
Right after we hung up my oldest daughter called me from home and reported that someone from an Italian restaurant had called and said that an anonymous friend wanted to give our family dinner there that night. Yes, I hear you God, you are shouting at me now. Forgive me for my hardness of heart, my unbelief, and my self-pity. Thank you for keeping your promises to your children!
I am better today, having let go of anger, and decided that I really can't control anything but my own thoughts. I can choose to listen to lies and be fearful, or I can choose to dwell on the truth and relax and be the woman I was made to be.
And an increase in my antidepressant hasn't hurt. :)
9 comments:
Wow-God is awesome! Thanks for sharing.
Thats great! Reminds me of Bruce almighty when Jim carrey kept seeing all these signs from god. lol
That is so awesome and encouraging to hear. Praise God!
Amen!!!! I have goose bumps! Sometimes God's word is just shouting at us and we just need to quiet down and listen. Plus, increasing antideppresants do help a bit!
I cried. And, if I weren't at work, I would have sobbed! I have spent so much time praying and beseeching God for good things to happen to/for/with my daughter who's been struggling for several years now, as well as chanting "Let go, let God," until I feel calmer and better able to breathe, that your posting today spoke directly to my heart. Even today, I have been going through my usual praying, begging, chanting routine over her most recent situation and it's as if God spoke to me through you and said "take a break already, I've got this." Thank you for sharing your story. I've been following along since March and have learned a lot of helpful information in the process. It's always good to be reminded that we are not alone in our difficulties.
I'm crying with you Dee. I know God is there and he is true to His word, but sometimes it is so hard to wait to see how his plan works out! We are in this battle together.
Hi Megan,
Sometimes all the bad stuff just hits us at once. Soldier on and this too shall pass. I am glad your friends are helping you out and your faith in God is a comfort to you.
I'm weeping with joy over God's direct with you this week! Earlier this week, I wept and told Him, "God, my friend has had enough! How much can one family take? Show mercy on their family, they love and serve you. Please bring relief." He is an awesome God isn't he? YOU are loved my dear Megan, by oh so many friends. Know that! And we cry with you when you're sad & rejoice when you are happy. God Himself chose to talk to you. Now if that's not telling you he's in control then I don't know what is. Hang in there my friend. (Hugs & Love to you)- Kim
That's so amazingly wonderful. I didn't read this until this morning, but I did pray for you and your family last night. It's so exciting to hear a story like this--I hear them, but not usually from people I know (like the mysterious checks showing up at just the right time for just the right amount).
Yay God!
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