She is a great kid, amazing really. To have endured what she has endured, and to still be marching along in school, in sports, in life is a testimony to her God-given tenacity and the faith He has given her, though tossed by storms. We have it easy compared to many situations out there: we have health insurance that pays for almost everything; a loving, faithful husband, who has a job; my kids are doing pretty well considering the chaos that has visited our family, I have three wonderful sisters, a supportive mom, great psychologists, a great psychiatrist, and a great church that cares deeply for our family, and God carries us all along. It could be so much worse.
And it could get worse; I am not naive to think that Caroline will get through high school completely unscathed. We will pray and try our best guide her and provide all that she needs to be successful in life, to that we are fully committed. I apologize if I have given the impression that we are primarily victims of her disorder, or of her in fact, when we are actually all in this together and all of us have our issues. I have a ton, so I truly can relate to her struggles. I was hell on wheels in high school myself, been there, done that when it comes to anything really, so I do share with her when I really messed up as a teen so that she understands that messing up here and there doesn't disqualify you from a great future in the least if you keep going back to God's abundant grace.
So please feel free to share constructive comments. I am open. Really.
7 comments:
hmmm... I kinda feel like you don't have to explain. It's clear to me that you love your child dearly and I imagine in day-to-day life it isn't always about "having a bipolar" daughter. But that is the purpose of this blog, to process all you're going through in this one area of your life. Please don't feel like you have to prove that you aren't a victim, if you didn't tell it like it is then we wouldn't be reading, and a lot of us are reading because we share the same struggles and feelings.
I appreciate your honesty and ability to share your life regarding your journey as a mom raising a daughter with bipolar disease, parents like myself need to know that we aren't alone and I hope you can always feel safe in "telling it like it is" without having to worry if we doubt your love for your daughter and that we may think you are playing a victim in all of this. Raising a child with a mental illness does in fact cause a lot of pain to our children, our marriages and our own selves.
I guess what I'm saying is that I respect the prior post, but I also think you as a mom need a safe place to process all this, I think it can help make you a better Mom when your "in the game" if you can dump out all the negative thoughts on your blog.
My only comment...you're one amazing mom. Some days I feel like a total failure, others a victim, and others a strong advocate for my kids.
When people ask how I do all that needs to be done my answer is usually, "Not gracefully." But no matter what, we muddle through and we love our kids, no matter what challenges come our way.
I think people get too caught up in semantics. I say bipolar all over my blog and we almost never even say the word in real life. I doubt you go out to watch her play lacrosse and say, "Hey, that's my bipolar daughter Caroline out there!" Or introduce her at parties as your 'bipolar daughter Caroline'. Sheesh. You are doing a great job.
trying to comment...
Oh Megan -
I'm so sorry you feel like you need to defend yourself. I don't feel like that's fair.
Before my last blog post, I actually thought to myself, "by the sound of my posts, readers are going to think I hate my own child. that i never say anything nice about her. that i think she's a horrible child. they are going to think I'm a horrible person!!"
BUT then i realized that my blog is MY blog. it is ME, venting MY thoughts, MY opinions, MY feelings. NO ONE can tell me my feelings are wrong. And for the love of pete - I have just flat out said I hated my child!!! WHEN she is raging. Tell me I'm horrible, tell me I'm going to hell, tell me whatever you'd like - I don't care. I beg to differ.
There are those of us out here, supporting you, every feeling and every thought and word that comes from you - unconditionally supporting you because we GET it. We GET you. There will be those that don't. And that's ok. But just know that you are an amazing woman, an amazing mama, and amazing writer and you there is no need to defend that. Ever.
Much love,
Erin
I, too, appreciate your honesty in your posts. I can so relate to your experiences and I don't feel so alone. Thank you.
Hi Tonya! Glad you found me too. I always enjoy getting to know the parents who post here.
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