She is wanting to do many things right now that she will be missing this summer, like going to Busch Gardens, and the beach. So we have been trying to accommodate her desires as much as we can, which for me feels very inconvenient, but I remind myself what it must be like for her.
I am weary of dealing with her, so it's been difficult for me to be excited about doing anything with her. She is no less grumpy and rude to me, which makes me impatient back.
When I took her to the beach today, I sat there in the beach chair, while she sort of wandered up and down the beach. There were no waves to speak of, and I could tell she was bored, but I never got up and walked with her, I realized as we left. Why didn't I walk with her and talk about what she must be feeling, her fears? A good mom would have extended that compassion, but I didn't, I thought to myself. I should have. My struggle with contempt of her kept me in my chair. I love her, but I am so tired of interacting with her. I hope my desire to spend time with her will return before she does.
1 comment:
The honesty in this post just speaks straight into my life right now. My 8 year old daughter has ADHD, ODD, and Premature Puberty due to her ADHD meds. She also has some early signs of bipolar disorder, which is terrifying for me as her mother.
When I read this post and could relate so well to your emotional exhaustion and the horror of daily life with a very difficult person ...
When I noticed the lack ofof comments on these more honest posts, especially the ones where you are wishing, just for a moment, that this difficult child was away, just to take a break, and longing for old times when you actually enjoyed her company ...
Thank you, for telling me I am not alone. I needed to comment and be sure you know that you are not alone either.
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