Bipolar Disorder is Messy, Literally

One of the most frustrating things about having a bipolar child is that they make continual messes, everywhere.  There are several reasons for this.  One is that they have documented executive function deficits, meaning the area of the brain having to do with organization and planning is greatly impaired.  Thus, her room, after being cleaned and organized (with my help too), by the next day looks like we never touched it. Clothes that were folded and organized in drawers will be strewn all over the floor, bed, dresser, closet, clean mixed with dirty.  It is as if she has not an organizational bone in her body.  This is not a parenting problem, because although there is always room for improvement, my other daughters manage to keep things in their rooms fairly picked up--at least they know where to find things. 

 She, on the other hand, loses things regularly throughout the day, doesn't know which gym bag is where, and when she looks at a pile of homework, her brain can't pick it apart to see just one assignment at a time.  She flips out because her brain is so disorganized on the inside.  We have to create order for her very often, which is typical of all bp kids.  She needs tight structure throughout the day, which, with three others to take to doctors appointments, go to their school events, help them with homework, etc, I can't provide enough.  My life is very unpredictable because of the competing demands of everything and everyone.  I would love to have a schedule that stayed the same every day, that I could fully control, but I've had to give up that idea.  Anytime I try, I am defeated.  Every day, something comes up that was not planned.  I feel like I have given up on my own natural inclination to be efficient and organized because I am only frustrated by my attempts.

Messes go beyond her room.  She will start on various projects, especially while manic, that involve paper, scissors, tape, glue, or dirt, shovels, muddy clothes,  or drawing pads, pencils, erasers.  This wouldn't seem outside the norm, but everything she does is bigger than life.  If she is obsessed with something, she has to do it full tilt.  And she definitely doesn't clean up after herself well at all.  I will ask her several times, but she's in another world.

And then I am so preoccupied with managing her and keeping her safe and caring for the youngest two that still need a lot of help with whatever, that days will go by when I have not done the laundry, so it is spread all over the house.  Or basic organization goes kaput.  I hate my house so disorganized and unkempt.  I asked a friend once who knew my house before Caroline really got bad, prior to age 7, if my house used to look like this.  She said no, not at all.  I was relieved because that is what I thought.  I remember loving to organize after the kids went to bed, maintaining a certain order as best I could.  

Oh, the maid service I hired didn't work out because it took them too long to do one floor, for a big chunk of money.  So I decided to get a weekly housekeeper that can stay until the work is done and can do laundry too.  I am not apologizing for this at all.  I must regain some order here.