The Scarcity of Connection

One of the things I have struggled a lot with in the last few years is that fact that when we are going through a hard time with Caroline (pretty much all the time), I can always count on my sisters, my mom, my neighborhood friends, and our pastors to call us, bring us meals, ask me out to coffee, or for a glass of wine, but the people that you would think would reach out to you, don't.  My closest friends in town seem silent, but my more "fringe" buddies are the ones lending a hand, doing my laundry, calling, sending emails.  Some of them may be reading this and wondering which group they are in.  It's not that all of my closest friends avoid me, it's just that a lot of them do.   Let me just say, don't be afraid to call me, or send a note, or invite me to coffee.  I would love to spend time with you or chat briefly.  Even just knowing that my close friends at least read my blog once in a while would be comforting.  I guess this is what a lot of people experience when they have cancer or something.  No one knows what to say, or are afraid of saying the wrong thing, or they feel completely inadequate to help so they shrink back, hoping maybe that the suffering one won't notice.  I've done that to other people myself.  I have two huge regrets regarding two friends who both died of cancer, well, three actually.  I was so busy with four little ones at the time, that I felt unable to be of great help, so I kept a low profile and hated myself for doing it (still haunts me).   I know this post is kind of brutally honest, but I am speaking not only for myself, but for anyone out there who is going through the valley and feels like people fade away.  Suffering is hard, but loneliness through suffering is harder.