I don't have answers

A new day.  I am so thankful that children forgive so readily.  I was not a nice Mommy. Yesterday was definitely a day I would like to forget.  "Caroline" seems happy this morning.  Hopefully that will stick for the rest of this day.  She starts lacrosse practice tonight, which she is quite excited about.  Sports have definitely been her escape, her bright spot of achievement in her life.  She craves movement and challenge.  Cross-country starts next week.  This has been a boring winter for her, having been unable to play a winter sport due to her extended illness, and we all suffered for it.  She was made to run, climb, jump.  Right now she is quietly reading a book, a happy sight for me.  She is so very bright--if only we can get her through this year, and the next, and the next.  Last night she was screaming that her life was nothing, she was nothing. She raged, asking why her life had to be such a mess, and she wanted the answer to why she hurts so much NOW!  She didn't want to hear how we see a bright future and a hope.  Sometimes she believes it, often she doesn't.  We have to believe it for her.  Sometimes I need others to believe it for me because I go numb when she is in so much pain.