Monday, March 11, 2013

What is My Responsibility? What is hers

I have a feeling I need to stop hovering.  I am hovering over Caroline constantly: "Have you done this, have you done that, when is this due, don't forget to include this in your paper..." etc, ad nauseum.  I am so stressed out over whether or not she will be able to keep her grades up enough to play lacrosse that my stomach hurts.  I just don't want to deal with the fall out if she ends up sitting on the bench for the season.  The end of the quarter is officially the 15th.  I think we will have some wiggle room next week as far as turning stuff in.  But I can't even breathe today.  Having a hard time letting go of her, of my desire to make sure everything is done, done correctly, turned in within a reasonable amount of time.  This is exhausting.  Makes you just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers up over your head until school gets out for the summer.  I can't believe we have two more years of this.  I would love to think she won't need us to hover over her after the end of this semester, but I can't imagine her doing this on her own.   She misses the fine details of big assignments.  I don't know how she is going to handle college at this point.

And as we are looking to buy a house this summer, we are realizing we have to deeply lower our expectations of what we can afford now that he is in full time ministry.  I am having a hard time with this because I certainly don't want another fixer-upper.  We have had enough of that .  Raising Caroline is stressful enough.  We don't have the energy to deal with an old house that needs a lot of remodeling and repairs. Ugh!  You would hope that something in our lives would be easy!

Went to the gym to try to de-stress and it didn't help.  Drove around looking at houses and that really didn't help as everything I liked was way out of our price range.  Came home to my messy house and that didn't help.  I need Jesus today.



2 comments:

  1. We've done 3 massive fixers - oh I don't want to tackle that again, financially or emotionally. I really feel your frustration with that. If we lived near each other I would totally help paint and do stuff like that! :) praying for peace for your soul. God already has a place just right for you!

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  2. Yes, no big fixer uppers for us! Too much time and money!!

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