Pressure Cooked

That would describe what Bill and I are feeling right now.  Breathe deeply, remember we are not abandoned.  I made sure we could pay the mortgage this morning, so that was good, while we wait for funds from a life insurance policy.  This is not fun.  Yes, all of you out there, make sure you have at least six months worth of salary saved up.   You won't think this will happen to you and then it does.  So far this has happened twice in about three years!

Yesterday, I spent some Christmas money we received from the in-laws in a "I have to do something nice for myself right now" moment.  I felt the need to escape so I got a pedicure and a manicure, and today we will get maid service.  Of course getting ready for a maid to come is stressful too when your house is as disorganized and cluttered as mine.  Breathe.  I have noticed that when I feel extreme anxiety, I can't think at all, my mind just freezes up.  That is the worst part I think.  I can't stand feeling impotent when there is so much to be done.

So I must go now and attack the downstairs somehow.  Breathe.

I saw a double rainbow in the sky yesterday for the briefest moment, but very bright, and then it was gone. I remembered God's promises to us and reminded myself that our feelings can't be trusted as much as the truths we know.